glare.

TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT, some goods as of late:

(314): why was he too nerdy?
(919): he was a tetris block for halloween

(630): you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.

(215): You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box

(720): turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"

(206): got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache

(203): just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you

(858): we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.

(773): our cab driver is having phone sex.

(506): i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.

(301): I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.

(717):Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
(1-717):That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.

(706): Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.

(904): We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese