When I was in high school I didn't want to exist. I was so exhausted at the idea of eternity. I wanted there to be nothing after death. If I could barely handle life as a teenager why would I want to continue living forever? I didn't. But then sometimes I was ok with it, and I liked it, and I looked forward to it somehow. And when I felt that maybe someone I loved very very much might not be there with me I felt a terrible sadness. When John and I got married I gained this incredible gratitude for Eternity. It became the most important thing to me. It's what I live for. I get to be with him forever. I guess the difference is that Eternity alone was never attractive to me. It's eternally being with or without my loved ones that makes the difference between heaven and hell.
at 10:01 PM