glare.

When I was little I would get really mad when people ignored me or were mean to me and I always thought to myself: I am going to run away and then they will miss me and realize how much they appreciate me! And so I would pack up some stuffed animals and maybe a painted rock and I would go out in the backyard and hide behind some bushes and I would wait. Hours (minutes) would pass and I would be thinking about how bad they must feel, looking frantically for me. I'll show them! I would imagine my mother seriously distressed at my absence and my sisters and brother worried sick. Hours (minutes) later I would notice that I was kind of hungry and I knew my mom would be making a snack soon. I would hear Emma and Catherine playing and wish that I could join them. My stubborn little self would slowly begin to break down and sooner or later I would sneak back inside to find everyone occupied and content. No one even noticed I was gone. I didn't show them anything, only my bruised ego.

Well, I may have never learned my lesson after all those years of running away. I'm still tempted to make some grand gesture to prove to everyone how much they really do like me, they just won't know it until I'm gone. But it's dumb and I'm dumb. The one thing that I have learned is that no one ever notices so it's really not worth it. It's like my friend David Johnson would say, "Just because you aren't on facebook doesn't mean people think you are cool or mysterious. It means they aren't thinking about you at all." So I will continue in my pursuit of friends and happiness and accept that not everyone likes me or wants to get to know me. I love those that do and that is all that matters, yeah? Yeah.