Ok. So I'm gonna try to eat and cook with more vegetables. I love them and I know lots of ways to cook them so I don't really know what the issue has been.

I've loved cooking for John since we've been married, a whopping 3 months. Seriously is that all? It feels like it's been so much longer. I'm finally using our crockpot today for the first time. I know how much I love cooking with a crockpot but it's been in a box behind pots and pans and you know - I can be lazy.

So for dinner we are having coconut pineapple curry w/ green beans and a chocolate mousse made from avocados! Yummm.

Last night was salmon w/ asparagus and mashed potatoes. Caramel apple and banana bread for dessert. We don't really do formal dessert ever, but we had guests last night and again tonight so... why not?

"I feel fine.. I took a Red Bull."
"The first rule of Home Depot is .. don't ever ask for help."

"It's not cold when there's so much heat between us." -John

I am so happy in love.

You know, after much resistance I Pinterest now. Really just for ideas of what to make for dinner. I wanted to stay out of crap like that after coming home from THE MISSION. I wanted to avoid returning to my internet junkie ways. And I really have been successful, I would say.  I don't scour the internet looking at fashion and music blogs anymore. I don't spend hours on facebook comparing myself to other girls. But if I ever do (even for 10 minutes!) it's amazing to me how quickly I can become materialistic and covetous. It grosses me out. I don't want to want a million things I don't have and really, don't need, even if they are DIY. But it's crazy how attractive possessions can be. Its like a disease and I don't really know what the antidote is. Happiness and a strong feeling of self worth have been effective. Being married to John who thinks I am most beautiful without makeup or jewelry helps.

I like nice things. I like shopping. I like painting my nails and looking cute, of course. And I LOVE the apartment that John and I have been setting up together. I just don't want those things to ever become some sort of priority for me. They are absolutely completely unimportant in comparison to my family, marriage, education, faith, etc. And I don't want to tromp around acting, thinking or feeling like they are.

I'm crazy in love with this man.

This was my first trip to California to see John - just one week after we "met." We went ring shopping on this trip. Ha. Absolutely perfect love insanity.

Hi John.

 

We did go on a honeymoon. The reason we haven't said much about it is because we both got the flu. We went out to a cabin in the beautiful mountains of Southern Utah. It was gorgeous and we only went outside ONCE on a good day for 30 minutes which expended literally all the energy in our bodies. It was not a bad honeymoon in truth. I suppose the purpose of a honeymoon is to bond together, to become closer than ever, and to love each other more than ever. Being sick and taking care of each other was probably one of the best (not most romantic, but most effective) ways of accomplishing that. We're going to Hawaii for a week soon, so we'll make up for it there!

It's hot.

You've got me.

Sometimes you just wear slippers and a headband for Halloween and call it a costume. Meow.

It's 70 degrees and I'm cold.

There is a recent development in my life that I think deserves some attention on this blog. And that is my newfound love for Christian Rock music. I know!

My first experience with Christian rock was back in middle school with Switchfoot. Everybody liked them right? But not necessarily because they sang about Jesus. Mostly just because they were on the Walk To Remember soundtrack. And because of that song Stars. Am I right?

Then in high school there was early Sufjan Stevens. I can still remember his tagline on Myspace: "That's Soof-yawn to you!" It's not there anymore, I just checked. Followed by a brief stint with Christian-overtoned band Relient K, who went on to become Owl City (still singing about Jesus)... and which Claire really liked..

The biggest thanks to my new love has to go to my mission and all the companions or other missionaries that passed random Christian mixes along to me. They were AWESOME on the mission. A true breath of fresh air from Mo-Tab and alllll those EFY cd's with the saaaaame singers whose voices drive you crazy.

I thought after my mission my Christian rock listening days had come to an end... until... I moved back out to California to be with John.. and I discovered 95.5 fm The Fish! This is the best Christian rock radio station known to mankind. With hits like "He Reigns!" and "Light Up The Sky." It provides endless uplift not to mention that Delilah is on in the evenings. Sometimes her voice makes me gag.. but she's just so sweet. I can't help but like her.

I used to be really snobby about music. Take for instance the fact that in middle school I was inwardly criticizing people who pronounced the J in Sufjan... because I knew better and because the internet told me I was right.. oh boy. 

I missed "my music" like crazy on my mission.. but since coming home it has been the strangest phenomenon that I have little to no desire to spend my time pursuing it (I think it helps having a husband who takes care of that for me now). I'm content. I'm not too picky. I keep it simple. I listen to The Fish... haha. And I am happy. Really happy.

In 7 weeks we'll all be in Hawaii together for Emma and Trenton's big day. Yeyaahh!

My life is too good.

I'm getting married today!

Tomorrow morning we leave for Utah. As soon as John wakes up he'll pull me out of bed and we'll start driving. Wedding Weekend 2012. Bring it on. I am so ready. ITS ABOUT TIME... all 2 months we've been waiting since we got engaged.

I'm not nervous or anxious. It's weird to say as well... but I'm not all that EXCITED either. It's a different feeling. It's the next step and we're ready to take it. We're as ready as we'd ever be. It's been good living here and spending so much time with John and his family. When you brush your teeth and say prayers together every night you almost start to feel that you're already married. And by you I mean me. And John. We.

We have so many good things coming to us.

There's no ceiling.

We'll be wed in a week.

On Sunday October 10, 2010 a group of friends and I went on a drive up the Alpine Loop in Utah to skip church and see pretty autumn leaves. It was fun. We talked. We laughed. We drank specialty sodas and ate cheez-its.

On Monday October 11, 2010 this photo, as well as many others from the adventure, was posted on facebook by the one and only Philip Smallwood. A friend of Phil's, John Garlock, came across these photos and to quote him: "It was love at first sight." John had been living in Salt Lake after graduating from the U but had just moved back home to Irvine, CA a month or two prior to the facebook encounter.

John was curious how he had never seen or heard of me before and then I show up in these pictures with all his friends from Salt Lake. He called Phil and inquired, "Phil, who is the babe in those photos with you?" "That's our friend Lindsay. She's from Boston. She's going on a mission in a couple months." "Oh, stuuuuupid," replied John. (But not stupid enough to keep him from facebook and blog stalking me until I left on my mission!)  John wasn't going to church in those days. He hadn't for a long time. Over the 3 months from when he first saw me to when I went into the MTC in January he would say to himself, "John, you don't even go to church! Why do you have this dumb crush on a girl you don't even know who is going on a mission!?"

So on January 5, 2011 I went into the MTC, never having met, seen, heard of, or interacted in any way with John Thomas Garlock. And as my facebook and blog activity came to a stop, so did John's thoughts about me.

Jump forward one year...

I'm a missionary in Sylmar, CA.  One day I receive a letter postmarked January, 17 2012. The letter is from a guy I've never met or heard of before... a guy named John Garlock. In the letter he briefly explained that we had some mutual friends and he had recently become reacquainted with my blog and saw that I had an address posted and he felt like he should write me. It was a GREAT letter. I loved it. He told some stories, mentioned some quotes he liked, all very uplifting and supportive. So I wrote him back.

Now to go back and explain what had transpired in order for John to start writing me... as I mentioned before, John had not been active in the church for a long time. But a couple months before writing me he had begun making some big changes in his life. A lot of good was coming his way and he had started praying again to show his gratitude. With time he just didn't feel like that was enough so he started attending sacrament meeting. One sunday in the singles ward he was attending.. the Bishop really encouraged anyone who was only attending sacrament meeting to stay for all 3 hours. John committed that he would stay that day. As he attended the 3 meetings 3 things were impressed very strongly upon his mind. The first, that he needed to go home that day and break up with his girlfriend. (Craaazy.. he was thinking) Second, that he needed to get back to the temple. And third, that he was going to be married in the temple. As he came out of church that day he didn't just know those things were what needed to happen in his life, they were his goals. His desires.

Now finding himself suddenly girlfriendless after a long term relationship John was feeling what he likes to refer to as "girl energy." In the past it had been put to more selfish use. We've all done it.. chasing girls/guys, playing games, etc. But he felt this time that he wanted to put this energy to positive use, to help someone and not put the focus on himself. So he prayed to know what to do. He asked that he might know the Lord's will and how to do it.

And then one morning he woke up with me stuck in his head. He wondered what had ever happened to me or how I was doing. So he jumped back on facebook.. relocated my blog and started reading it again. Saw an address and thought almost jokingly, "I should write her..." and then felt very seriously that he really should write me, that I needed it and needed to feel appreciated. And that it wasn't to be about him but about me. And even though he thought it was crazy and that I would probably be so creeped out... he did it. He wrote me a letter.

And to his great astonishment, I wrote back. And then he wrote back. And then I wrote back. After a while he sensed that I was having a difficult time. I had been put in a new area with a new missionary and was really struggling. John picked up on that and started sending me mail a lot more frequently. He didn't wait to get my responses before sending something. They weren't always letters. Sometimes just a postcard with a song lyric, or quote. Sometimes he would send stories or excerpts from books he was reading. He'd send talks he liked or weird pictures. He sent me a package for baseball season's opening day filled with bubblegum, crackerjacks and some red sox paraphernalia. It got to the point where I was getting something in the mail from him almost every day or every other day. For mother's day he sent me a Hello Kitty apron. And for my birthday he sent a box of Hello Kitty pens and paper and stickers.

I loved writing John. I loved his letters. We just understood each other so well and jived in all the right ways. As strange as it is.. we became very good friends through those letters. And we were only about an hour 1/2 away from each other the whole time.

Well after months of writing letters, it was time for my mission to end. I got home June 13, 2012. I had been in the mission home a couple days and was staying with some other sisters before that so by the time I got home it had been several days since I'd heard from John and I realized that I really missed him! So I added him on facebook.

At one point John had thought it might be sexy to put some of his cologne on an envelope of a letter he sent.. but it just made a bunch of ink all melt together and ended up really funny. We exchanged scents after that. For the longest time all I knew about John physically was his handwriting and his smell, so I missed those things. 

So we were facebook friends... but that was it... I was busy with weddings and roadtrips and all sorts of stuff and I think he was letting me take some time to decompress, but I didn't want time. 

So we started talking on the phone, a few hours every night. And we loved it. We loved each other's voices. And we wanted to meet. So on July 12th John flew out to Utah and rented a car and came to stay at my house! He got in pretty late, around 10:30. Only Emma was home with me. I was so nervous. And super awkward I'm sure. But I gave him a big hug and it felt like I'd always known him. We hung out with Emma for a while and waited for my parents to get home. Then we stayed up late late talking and cuddling. And then he kissed me. And I was sort of half asleep..

That weekend we fell in love. We already loved each other from letter writing. I know I did. I cared about him a lot. We knew each other so well. But that weekend it all changed. We went hiking, we danced at a wedding and rode bikes in the rain around a Reggae festival in downtown Ogden. We slept over at my family's cabin at Alta with Claire and Nate. We swam in a freezing lake. We went to church. I taught gospel doctrine. We had sunday dinner with my family. And Sunday night I told John I was in love with him. And we cried a lot and held each other and he said that he was in this for the long haul and that he wanted it more than anything else he'd ever wanted.

He left monday morning but by friday he was flying me out to see him in California. He picked me up at the airport with a sign that said, "The Ultimate Babe." I was there a week. Met the whole family. Went to the beach. Played with his nieces non stop. Went to the fair. Went ring shopping.

The next time John flew out to Utah we got engaged. It was Friday August 10th. I had been home from my mission just 2 months. We went to the temple together. Took engagement pictures. We were making it happen.

Being apart was awful. But once we were engaged it was nice to have some projects to keep me busy. Finding a dress, making wedding invitations, etc. John flew out again Labor Day weekend for Phil & Kassi's wedding and then together we drove back to California in our first major purchase together. I've been in California now for one month. The miracles that have made all of this possible are too many to even begin describing. The car, the housing situation that was made available to me here in Irvine, so I could be close to John... it has all been touched by the hand of the Lord. 100 percent.

We have an apartment now in Costa Mesa. We painted! We bought one month's rent worth of furniture from Ikea that we'll be assembling tonight. We scored a free fridge and free mattress. Things are coming together! And in one week we will be driving back out to Utah for the wedding weekend itself.

Our wedding day will be exactly 4 months after the day I got home from my mission. It will be 3 months from the time that John and I actually met in person. It has been a WILD ride and I have no reason to believe that is not going to continue on for the rest of our lives together. We both feel incredibly blessed to have been given this gift that neither one of us feels we deserve. We recognize God's plan in all of this and feel so grateful for His love, for offering us this chance at an incredible life together.

I didn't know what love was before John. He is the most selfless human being I have ever met. Everything he does is for me, or at least for us. He thinks of me first every time. He is the sweetest, kindest, most genuine and loving man. I won the lottery without even buying a ticket. That is how I feel. And it's only been a few months. We have no idea how in love we aren't yet. It is just going to grow in all dimensions and deepen and become strengthened all around.

Our relationship isn't perfect but we work perfectly at it. We each give it everything we have. And we bring the Lord into it every day. I don't know a better man than John. He's my everything.

And that is our story. It's not the beginning necessarily and is most definitely not the end. But it's all we know right now. We can't wait to build upon it. It is just going to get better and better.

We're getting married in 2 weeks. Gnarleh.