Just in case anyone missed the memo:

http://lindsaygarlock.blogspot.com/

Thanks :)

New name. New spot. Nothing's changed except maybe me.. and for the better. But this is not suddenly a recipe blog or a scripture log. It functions 100% the same as the old one.  I'm just not Lindsay Erickson anymore. You know, I considered adding a second middle name while in the whole Social Security office and all that. But couldn't come up with anything classy yet provocative enough. Anyway - this little baby's getting shut down. See me from now on over HERE. Thanks.

When I was in high school I didn't want to exist. I was so exhausted at the idea of eternity. I wanted there to be nothing after death. If I could barely handle life as a teenager why would I want to continue living forever? I didn't. But then sometimes I was ok with it, and I liked it, and I looked forward to it somehow. And when I felt that maybe someone I loved very very much might not be there with me I felt a terrible sadness. When John and I got married I gained this incredible gratitude for Eternity. It became the most important thing to me. It's what I live for. I get to be with him forever. I guess the difference is that Eternity alone was never attractive to me. It's eternally being with or without my loved ones that makes the difference between heaven and hell.

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerers through Him that loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Jesus Christ, our Lord.
-Romans 8:35-39

All things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose.
-Romans 8:28

Get off me anxiety.

I sometimes feel like all my efforts are in vain. I am sharing the gospel but nothing seems to come from it. I'm spending up to 3 hours a day preparing a seminary lesson and it just doesn't go as magically as I had hoped. I often base the success of my efforts on the responses or actions of others, responses which I do not control.

I read an excerpt from Stephen Robinson's Believing Christ today that goes something like this:

It is reported that someone once challenged the work of Mother Teresa, the holy woman who ministered to the poorest outcasts in Calcutta, India, on the grounds that she could never succeed at what she was trying to do. No matter how hard she worked, her antagonist insisted, there would be more of the poor and sick tomorrow than there were today, and all her efforts could never even make a dent in the problem. Since she could never hope to succeed, why did she waste her efforts in a losing cause? Mother Teresa's answer was a classic. "God does not require that I succeed," she replied, "only that I do what I can." And that is the gospel truth.

I'm always relearning the lesson of acceptance. There is so much I cannot control but I don't need to or even want to really. Controlling myself, my emotions, my thoughts, my actions is a challenge enough. I do not need to add other people or things on top of it. If I just do what I can, all that I can, it will be enough. I am enough.

"My lips hurt from trying to blow the poop out of that dog."

-my husband

We're gonna try to be in bed by 9 tonight.

Loving this message today.

Yesterday I talked about going on a diet/doing a cleanse. Today literally every single thing I've eaten has been deep fried.

All sorts of news:

John's '93 Toyota Tercel was totaled in a recent rear-ending accident on the freeway.. So yesterday we finally purchased the replacement - a dark blue 2007 Nissan Versa with only 45k miles :)

I've been released as Sunday School teacher and together we have been called to teach Early Morning Seminary at the Institute. We start Monday - 6 AM!

My parents have been called to preside over the Zambia, Lusaka LDS Mission. (That is in Africa for anyone unfamiliar!) They leave in June and will be gone for 3 years! We hope to make a trip out there sometime within the next 2.

And finally, I've been working at Fossil for 3 months now and I just got a new job as an After-School Program Leader at an Elementary School. Now if only my Livescan results will come back I can start!

Crushing spinach all day err day

And believe it or not there are also strawberries, blueberries, apple, pineapple, and banana in there!

It's eerie overcast skies and rain like today's that make most Californians sad - but for me - it gives me a wild energy. Gets me all charged up. I love it!

(mp3) Won't Somebody Come And Play?  Like, preferably one of these individuals?

For dinner this week:

Chicken and Veggie Fajitas on Corn Tortillas with Queso Fresco and Corn Bread

Fettuccine Alfredo Shrimp on Whole Wheat Linguini and Grilled Asparagus

Buffalo Chicken Calzone and Roasted Brussels Sprouts

El Toro Bravo - our favorite cheap and authentic mexican take-out.. mmm :)

Looking at recipes on Pinterest makes me SO HUNGRY.

Hey, we really love each other. He's the best thing in my life. I get weird but I know what's up.

..And it's because I do what I know is bad for me! I know that looking at facebook or blogs for too long, particularly looking at other pretty girls pictures, makes me feel so bad about myself. I partly compare myself to others who appear to be more beautiful and in better shape and to make more money and wear cuter clothes and have cooler friends and lives which makes me feel like crap.. and then I partly rag on the same girls thinking how ridiculous and materialistic and narcissistic they are.. but neither of those thoughts makes me feel good. I know I just need to avoid the temptation or even the opportunity to be tempted to start comparing myself with others. There's absolutely no point in it. And I know I need to stay away from facebook and blogs. The internet is not reality, Lindsay! And yeah - it's a bummer to admit that I'm not just 100% confident in my own skin and fearless and that, yeah, I do feel self conscious and less-than sometimes even when John tells me a thousand times a day that I'm perfect. I clearly am not, so sometimes instead of thinking it's sweet I think he must be lying to my face or have seriously impaired judgement. I feel like a teenager. And being a teenager sucked. I want to wear my "I hate everyone" t-shirt, even though I don't really have one and I could never actually wear something like that in public. The closest thing I really do have is a "Kill hipsters" t-shirt.. which is more ironic than indicative of my feelings towards "hipsters" ..whatever those are now.

Am I on my period? yes.
Will I regret this post? yes.
Do I care? I want to say no and act like I don't but I really do.
Do I kinda want to make everyone around me mad? yes but no but yes.
Is anyone around me? no but John will be home soon and I hope I'm not a total jerk to him. I'm gonna try to be sweet. I will be sweet. Even though I'm resentful of things that aren't real that I just made up in my head like dumb facebook comments that I am sensitive to but shouldn't be.
Am I taking crazy pills? no but I should be.

I want to use swear words.

Thank you David and Catherine for this sweet gift. Means more than you know!

This weeks menu: yummm

Mon: Alfredo Tuna and Broccoli Pasta
Sourdough toast
Fruit pizza for dessert!

Tues: Slow cooker BBQ Ribs
Biscuits
Baked Sweet Potatoes
Spinach Salad

Wed: Spaghetti & Meat Sauce
Spinach Salad
Fresh Fruit Smoothies for dessert

Thurs: Ham & Cheese + Asparagus Crepes
Fruit & Nutella Crepes for dessert

Fri: Mac n Cheese
Roasted Brussels Sprouts

Friday, August 10th 2012 - John and I went for a hike up Little Cottonwood Canyon. We climbed clear on top of this giant hill of boulders up to a boulder so large and angled so steep that I had to sit up on top with John a few feet below me, on bended knee. He started the sweetheart talk which I thought was all nice and cute but wasn't expecting anything just yet, as we hand't exactly brought anything with us.. Then he reaches down to his pant leg, folding it up at the ankle, reaches into his sock and pulls out a little box. He asked me if I would marry him and I said, "Hell yes." I finally developed the film from my broken holga that I was testing that day to see if it indeed was broken. Yeah it's kinda broken. But glad we atleast have these memories, fuzzy or not.

I have a wonderful life.